getting very tired

September to November are usually the three hardest months at work. There’s hardly a break, let alone a long vacation. I have been working very hard for a month and a half by now, from 7:00am till 12:00mn. What am I working for? A better future? A higher living standard? Or a more luxurious life?

Last Wednesday, I received a phone call from my sister telling me about the bad news. I was speechless and didn’t know how to react at that time. I have never thought about such things would have happened to me so soon, for I am still young at my age to receive news like this. By the way, I was calm enough to handle it but when I told this to my friend, I couldn’t help sobbing, and it was so much like the 27 June incident years ago, I mean emotionally. The only difference this time could be that the day hasn’t come yet and this time there’s still hope as the diagnosis hasn’t been released.

Watching your beloved leave you is a painful feeling, and especially they mean so much to you! When I was conscious about life and death, the only person who passed away was my old man. I still vividly remember when I was told about the news by my mum, her indifferent attitude did affect me, and I didn’t have any special feeling, neither sad nor sorrowful. It was like he’s just another passerby in part of my life. I never regret it indeed; i never regret having no feeling towards this guy with whom I had spent the first 15 years of my life. Although I still recall my former boss asked me to bid him goodbye at the cementary, I never think I made a wrong move.

What am I talking about? I know not. What I know is I should treasure the one I care about when there is time. Last Friday, I had dinner with the whole family in a Chinese restaurant in TST. After the sumptuous dinner, my step father suggested having a stroll at the waterfront promenade, which was an unusual activity for my family. The breeze was blowing lightly and the weather was cool. Walking slowly with them, I sighed the happy time passed so quickly. This kind of happiness was at arm’s length but in the past, I just didn’t grasped the chance to enjoy it.

Now what I can do is to wait for the final judgment day next week. I dare not imagine what is going to happen but moaning and groaning just doesn’t help much. But from now on, what seems to be most important to me should not be my work, but the ones around me! Wish me luck!